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Unethical Website of the Month April 2004
DogDoo.com
Ah, April Fools Day!
The Ethics Scoreboard staff has enjoyed practical jokes from time to time, both from the giving and the receiving end. But paying a company to mail someone a package of simulated dog excrement is not a practical joke, by our definition. Witty? Uh, no. Original? Well, not if the idea comes from a website. Hilarious? Is there really a controversy here?
Receiving a package of dog droppings is an unpleasant experience, and inducing others to do so is unethical, as well as just plain crummy. Judging from the website, which assures its customers…
All of our records are destroyed within 24 hours of shipping. We maintain financial records of anonymous transactions ONLY. Please remember to keep your order number if you need to correspond with us after the event…
…we can assume that a large percentage of those who send the hilarious poop-parcels don't even have the guts to take credit for their actions…which are assaults, by the way.
The DogDoo people signal their recognition that most of the humor-challenged individuals using their services are not doing so in the spirit of fun and affection by stating…
Our policy is not to send any package with a questionable message such as threats to a person's life, or anything that the airport would frown on you saying as you walk through the metal detector. Don't worry, we will e-mail you if we have any questions and give you a chance to revise your message.
That must be reassuring: if a customer's "I'm going to kill you, you bastard!" message doesn't pass muster with DogDoo, they'll be sure to let him revise it so his ultimate attack will be more of a surprise! Of course, DogDoo.com doesn't endorse that sort of thing, no sir:
You may NOT use our services to violate a legal restraint or as an event in a sequence of events that would constitute harassment.
Not that DogDoo has any idea how their customers are using its services. Or maybe it does. This is a service to assist people in annoying, threatening, and causing emotional distress to people they don't like. Perhaps, if it catches on, DogDoo will expand into other funny packages, like a dead fish wrapped in newspaper, a la The Godfather, or a bloody human tooth, like in Dirty Harry, or a realistic model of Gwyneth Paltrow's head, like in Seven. Hey! With all the terrorism threats and all, why not a realistic looking bomb?
It's all in good fun, of course. As DogDoo assures us…
This is a novelty service for the purpose of entertainment only.
Now that's dog poop.