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June
2006 "Easy Calls"
- Joe Mikulik, the manager of the Asheville
Tourists, a Class A affiliate of the Colorado Rockies, thought he had
seen an easy call that an umpire had botched. So he threw an epic on-field
tantrum that reached astounding proportions after the unpire threw him
out of the game. He dove into second base, where the disputed play had
occurred, ripped up the bag and hurled it onto the infield. Next, Mikulik
threw a resin bag into the bullpen. He covered home plate with dirt
and then squirted it off with a water bottle, which he then hurled onto
the plate. Then he went into his dugout and tossed bats onto the field.
Mikulik is a Class A manager, which means that his job is to prepare
young players in their early twenties for a career in professional baseball.
He is a leader, a teacher and role model, and his conduct violated his
duties as all three. Yes, it got him national publicity and lots of
TV exposure, but he forgot that baseball in the low minors is less about
winning than it is about training players to play the game right. Earl
Weaver, Billy Martin, Lou Pinella and other major league managers have
had outrageous on-field meltdowns, but most of those were calculated
to stir up their teams, which were stocked with veteran players who
understood the tactic. Mikulik's antics are more likely to teach young
players to be on-field jerks who can't control themselves when the breaks
of the game turn against them. That's too big a price to pay just so
an undisciplined manager can blow off some steam.
- The Ethics Scoreboard took no glee during the last election in having to
take up space repeatedly to point out Senator John Kerry's constant
displays of a pathological integrity deficit. Sick as we are of this exercise,
the Wall Street Journal's blog found a recent example that is too blatant
to ignore. Discussing with shockjock Don Imus Kerry's (defeated) proposal
before the Senate to declare a specific timetable for the U.S. to pull out
of Iraq, the Senator said, "'Stay the course' is not a plan. And what this
administration wants is to have a fake debate, as usual. You hear the drumbeat
on every television show from every commentator, "cut and run, cut and run,
cut and run, cut and run." That's their phrase. They've found their three
words, they love to do that, and they're gonna try to make the elections in
November a choice between "cut and run" or "stay the course." That's not the
choice. My plan is not 'cut and run.' Their plan is "lie and die." But James
Taranto, the blog's author, uncovered this Kerry quote from a December 2003
speech before the Foreign Relations Committee: "I fear that in the run-up
to the 2004 election, the administration is considering what is tantamount
to a cut-and-run strategy. Their sudden embrace of accelerated Iraqification
and American troop withdrawal dates, without adequate stability, is an invitation
to failure. The hard work of rebuilding Iraq must not be dictated by the schedule
of the next American election." Yes, the good Senator might have just changed
his mind, as he frequently does. But in light of the substantial (and hardly
all-inclusive) examples of Kerry's willingness to switch positions with the
prevailing breezes of public opinion, it is impossible to reconcile these
comments with any confidence. Once a public figure has displayed a lack of
integrity, who knows what he believes? And who cares? [6/25/2006]
- Barry Bonds' March
lawsuit against Mark Fainaru-Wada and Lance Williams, the authors
of "Game of Shadows" which exposed Bond's use of banned substances in his
pursuit of baseball immortality, appeared at the time to be a cynical and
misleading public relations ploy. As the Scoreboard noted at the time, most
fans assumed that the suit challenged the book's allegations, which paint
Bonds as a cheater, a liar, and quite probably a perjurer and felon. It did
not: the suit only (and dubiously) challenged the reporters' right to make
money on the sale of a book that included illegally leaked jury testimony.
Although Bonds' representatives announced the filing of the lawsuit immediately
to encourage the misconception that the Giants' slugger was eager to clear
his name in court, it took ten days for the news to get out that the suit
had been dismissed at Bonds' request. Hmmmmm. So now a widely published
best-selling book that Bonds and his supporters claim is full of character
assassinating lies has strangely failed to spark a libel suit, though Bonds
has the lawyer and resources to use the courts with abandon. Further, and
I would say, near conclusive proof that Barry Bonds' continuing play on Major
League baseball fields undermines the societal consensus that cheaters never
prosper, and that crime doesn't pay. In the case of Barry Bonds, they have,
and it did.
- As Shel Silverstein related in
his classic lyrics for the old Johnny Cash hit, "A Boy Named Sue," giving
your child a bizarre or ridiculous name can be gratuitous cruelty, indulging
a parent's sense of whimsy at the expense of a child's self-image and well-being.
The late rock satirist Frank Zappa was a serial offender in this category,
naming his children Moon Unit, Dweezil, Ahmet Rodan and Diva. Funny guy, that
Frank. Although the father of the protagonist in Silverstein's epic had good
intentions (he thought, correctly, that being named Sue would force his son
to learn how to fight), it's hard to see any in the decision of British
horror film fan Suzanne Cooper. When her son was born on June 6 (that's
6/6/06, the mark of the Anti-Christ, for those of you who aren't fans of the
book of Revelations) at 6 AM (OK, it was 6:59, but there's still a six in
there…what, you expect Satan to be perfect?) and weighed 6 pounds,
6 ounces, she decided to name him Damien, after the cinematic hell-spawn who
engineers the death of his parents, relatives, school mates and random acquaintances
on his way to ushering in the Apocalypse. This was a genuinely selfish and
irresponsible thing to do to a helpless infant, and the betting here is that
Damien changed his name to Fred or even Sue as soon as the Omen jokes start
flying. Either that, or all of us, and especially Ms. Cooper, are in deep,
deep trouble.
- He doesn't deserve Ethics Hero
status, but the apology by Alan Hevesi, New York's Democratic state
comptroller, should at least get him back most of the ethics points
he squandered when he implied that it would be just dandy if New York's Senator
Chuck Shumer murdered President Bush. Speaking at the commencement of Queens
College, he had saluted Sen. Schumer by describing him as the man who "will
put a bullet between the president's eyes if he could get away with it. The
toughest senator, the best representative. A great, great member of the Congress
of the United States." Now, quite apart from the aspersions his words cast
on Shumer, who has never given any signs of being homicidal, Hevesi's remarks
feed the civility rot in public discourse that continues to be spread by conservative
talk shows, liberal blogs, Ann Coulter, Howard Dean and others. The concept
that anyone who disagrees with a particular political agenda forfeits their
human rights is insidious, and is an unethical assertion that has no place
at a college commencement, no matter whom the designated victim is. However,
the fact that Hevesi was extolling the shooting of the President of the United
States, the occupant of a job with an extraordinarily high attempted murder
rate (Ten out of forty-three: Jackson, Lincoln, Garfield, McKinley, Roosevelt,
Truman, Kennedy, Nixon, Ford, and Reagan) made the comment especially irresponsible.
Unlike Dean, Coulter and others though, Hevesi not only regretted his rhetorical
excess but quickly apologized for it in an unequivocal fashion that few public
figures have the character and courage to produce: "I apologize to the president
of the United States" and to the fellow state politician, Sen. Charles Schumer.
I am not a person of violence. I am apologizing as abjectly as I can. There
is no excuse for it. It was beyond dumb." Yes it was. But Hevesi is an ethical
man for saying so. [6/4/2006]
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